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November 17, 2010

Are We Saying Goodbye to Jeffrey the Robot?

I have a confession to make: I have a slight crush on Intel’s (News - Alert) Jeffrey the robot. My interest was probably fostered back in childhood, fueled discreetly by interactions with Teddy Ruxpin – but I find myself helpless to stop it.

I wanted to know more about this mysterious robot I kept seeing on Intel’s various commercials.

Originally, I wanted to write a feature piece on Jeffrey, but after countless attempts at emailing Intel for an exclusive interview with Jeffrey and his handlers, I am afraid I must proceed without their input.

Luckily, there’s always Facebook (News - Alert) to turn to when you need to learn more about a person. Or in this case, a robot.

Luckily for me and my research, Jeffrey is cool. Has-his-own-Facebook-cool.

What is his description of himself? Allow me: “I’m Jeffrey from Intel (a big shout out to the brilliant Robotics Dept.). Until recently, I was viewed by many to be Intel’s greatest technological achievement. But with the advent of the new 2010 Intel Core processors, there has been some debate. This page is my attempt to settle this debate once and for all. I encourage you to see for yourself (check out some of the links). I ain’t afraid.”

What does Jeffrey do in his spare time? “Beeping, moving around stiffly, applying logic to problems, speaking in monotone, lectroni’ and figurin’, weightlifting.”

But what does he do in his spare time? “Binary Code, Quantum (News - Alert) theory, sensory robotics, differential calculus, grilled cheese sandwiches, muscle cars, full contact chess, flight simulator games, number crunching and going for long rolls on the beach.”

What are his favorite movies? “Terminator, Short Circuit, Tron, Star Wars, The Matrix, Iron Giant, A.I, and the Ernest series.”

Songs? “Daft Punk, Crystal Method, Rush, Moby, Fatboy Slim, Massive Attack, The Zep, Chemical Brothers. Pretty much all lectronic. And Crunk.”

Books? “I, Robot; 1984; old Commodore 64 user manuals (still hilarious).”

Television shows? “Battlestar Gallactica, Robot Chicken, Star Trek, Lost, Battle Bots, Top Chef, Jeopardy,The Jetsons, America’s Next Top Rocket Scientist and Anderson Cooper 360.”

But in all of my excitement to learn more about Jeffrey, it took me awhile to realize what his latest update meant. In the words of Jeffrey:  “To my many fans and friends. It is with a heavy, yet excited, artificial heart that I must say goodbye. I've been reassigned. I wish I could say more, but I've been sworn to secrecy. Always remember that we've have had some great times together. We laughed, we cried and dang it, if we didn't sell some Core processors. Please don't be angry or sad – I want you to move on with your lives. There will be other Jeffreys (though none with my panache) down the road. I think Anonymous said it best: "If you love something let it go. if it comes back, it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was." 

It seems that Intel’s retired Jeffrey. Or perhaps it was Jeffrey that retired.


Jeffrey, you fearless, beach-loving, body-building maverick… you will be missed!

Erin Monda recently graduated from W.C.S.U. with a degree in professional writing. She primarily writes about network technologies, including cloud computing, virtualization and network optimization, however she also has a focus on E911 technologies and legislation.

Edited by Erin Monda

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